Thoughts.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 | 
10:35 PM
0 Im currently bored.. and tired and upset.. why? because the feeling is back.. the feeling I hated the most in me 
. I wanted the feeling to go away and not bother me again, but I can`t I have this tendency of being upset if im ignored and everything but not all the time. I asked my mom to accompany me to a psychiatrist (they`re not here for crazy people they also help others understand their feelings) 
I often feel that im no use and that I should just stick to being a normal person like quit the Student Council and DS , but im still waiting maybe just maybe there`s a high chance that I can regain my self-confidence and I won`t feel like Im a useless junk especially when there`s a serious problem and all I can do is stare and do nothing. It sucks!! Im not a big fan of emo`s and all but all of us has emotions we can`t sometimes control
. I may look like Im pretty much happy about my life but no. Im sick of pretending. Im sick of always smiling and Im sick of being a slave to others just to please them. I don`t enemies I hate having enemies. Maybe that`s also the reason why Im being bullied because I don`t fight back I don`t have self confidence I don`t trust my self. I wanna punch my self for being like that 
I hated my personality from the beginning and FYI i also know it`s partly my fault. Yes, I do have friends both real and cyber world but I have no one to share my feelings with and a friend whom I can lean on whenever tears run down my face and give me good advises. I have a sister but she`s like 1 year old ! *sighs* My life is a useless crap but to be honest Im enjoying it sometimes. Like they say Live Life to the Fullest. 
. I wanted the feeling to go away and not bother me again, but I can`t I have this tendency of being upset if im ignored and everything but not all the time. I asked my mom to accompany me to a psychiatrist (they`re not here for crazy people they also help others understand their feelings) I often feel that im no use and that I should just stick to being a normal person like quit the Student Council and DS , but im still waiting maybe just maybe there`s a high chance that I can regain my self-confidence and I won`t feel like Im a useless junk especially when there`s a serious problem and all I can do is stare and do nothing. It sucks!! Im not a big fan of emo`s and all but all of us has emotions we can`t sometimes control. I may look like Im pretty much happy about my life but no. Im sick of pretending. Im sick of always smiling and Im sick of being a slave to others just to please them. I don`t enemies I hate having enemies. Maybe that`s also the reason why Im being bullied because I don`t fight back I don`t have self confidence I don`t trust my self. I wanna punch my self for being like that I hated my personality from the beginning and FYI i also know it`s partly my fault. Yes, I do have friends both real and cyber world but I have no one to share my feelings with and a friend whom I can lean on whenever tears run down my face and give me good advises. I have a sister but she`s like 1 year old ! *sighs* My life is a useless crap but to be honest Im enjoying it sometimes. Like they say Live Life to the Fullest.
